Caught
by Shanface
Summary: It was happening again. Once more she was subjected to watching her friends put their lives on the line for her. Once more she could do nothing but pull at the magical restraints that held her immobile. Once more... she was useless to her team. Trigger warning.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any of the amazing characters that you recognize in this story.**

Chapter 1

It was happening again. Once more she was subjected to watching her friends put their lives on the line for her. Once more she could do nothing but pull at the magical restraints that held her immobile. Once more... she was useless to her team.

Why? Why could she not be someone others could depend upon? Why was her magic not stronger? Why was she even here?

All of these thoughts and more vied for Lucy's attention as she sobbed for her friends to go. They should just leave her. After all, she would just pull them down in the end.

* * *

It had been two weeks since the botched mission that resulted in Lucy's kidnap and rescue. Two agonizing weeks where all Lucy seemed to do was turn inward. Normally, Lucy would be able to get past her initial depression and focus instead on being with her friends, her family. She could forget for a while about her shortcomings as a mage.

This time was different.

Despite all of her and her team's endeavors, she had not yet reverted back to her normal self, with her easy-going smiles and upbeat attitude. In fact she could not remember a single time she had smiled a true smile since her rescue.

Her friends were as wild as ever, causing mischief wherever they went. Some of the things that took place should have had her rolling on the ground in tears, but instead, they served only to make her feel more dejected and alienated. Lucy thought that being around all of the ruckus would cheer her up and help her bounce back. All it did was show Lucy her teams resilience, something she seemed to no longer possess.

"What am I doing here?" Lucy asked quietly to herself as she stared down at the bar beneathe her hands.

"Did you say something Lucy?"

Glancing up, Lucy saw Mirajane gazing at her with a sweet smile, ready to serve if needed.

A slight frown tugged at Lucy's lips, not realizing she had said her question out loud. Getting a hold of her thoughts, she slowly shook her head and proceeded to look around from her spot on the bar stool.

As she looked around the guildhall her eyes fell upon her friends. Team Natsu, strongest team in Fairy Tail, sat together chatting happily with one another. It seemed as though they were all in good spirits today. There Erza sat speaking to Gray while eating a slice of strawberry cake, her favorite, while Natsu and Happy gorged themselves on every edible thing in sight. Just another normal, relaxing day for her teammates. Too bad the same could not be said for her.

Lucy's thoughts had been a mess for weeks now. All of the questions and self-doubt that flitted through her head while she was kidnapped had steadily increased. She was never not thinking these days. _Why am I so useless? Why am I not stronger? Why can I never do anything right? How can I continue to be on the team of amazing wizards? How can I stay here? How can I call myself a wizard?_ On and on her thoughts went, getting stronger by the day.

As Lucy continued to watch her friends she noticed Natsu look up at her and smile. That smile broke her heart because she knew that one day she would no longer see it pointed at her. One day he and everyone else would realize that Lucy was not meant to be there.

Lucy willed herself to move her gaze away from their table and back to the spot she had previously been staring at on the bar. After a few moments she felt a presence behind her. There was no point in her turning around; she knew who was there. She could feel the heat radiating off of his body. It was the first time she had felt warm in days. Really, it was the first time she had felt much of anything other than the suffocating guilt of her failures since her return. It was short-lived as Natsu moved from behind her to sit by her at the bar. He smiled at her while slapping a piece of paper onto the wood that was beneath her hands.

"Luce, I found our next job!" Natsu said with his normal enthusiasm. The kind that meant whatever he had picked out was sure to turn into something extra troublesome.

Glancing down at the request she read over the details.

 _ **RARE AND DANGEROUS ANIMALS NEED**_

 _ **TRANSPORTED TO WILD LIFE SANCTUARY**_

 _ **REWARD: 700,000 jewel**_

 _ **CONIS MAVIN**_

After reading the details of the job, Lucy returned the flyer to him saying, "I think I'll pass this time Natsu."

"Aw, come on Lucy. It will be fun! The reward is great so you won't have to worry about rent this month and think of all the cool creatures you'll get to see. Plus Lisanna was gonna come with us, seein' as her takeover magic is animal-based. C'mon! This will be a great chance for us to all go on a mission together!" Nasty said cheerfully, all the while having an expectant look on his face.

Why?" Lucy asked before she could stop herself.

"Why what? I just told you I wanted us all to-"

"Why not just take Lisanna? This definitely fits her magic and I am sure she can manage just fine especially if you're there. I wouldn't be much use on this mission." Lucy said, while thinking to herself _not that I seem to be much use on any missions these days._

Natsu looked at her for a moment, a slight crease forming between his eyebrows, the corners of his mouth slowly settling into a frown, a sharp contrast from the smile previously adorning his face.

"When has that ever mattered?" He asked with a serious tone. "You're my partner. Where you go I go and vice versa. C'mon stop being weird, snap out of it!"

These words would normally have done the trick to snap her out of whatever silly thoughts were floating around in her head but as he watched, he did not see the normal shaking of her head or the shy smile that came with realizing just how silly she was being. Instead he could have sworn he saw her shrink in on herself a bit.

 _What on earth is she thinking?_ This is not the first time this thought had crossed his mind. In fact, recently it had been distressing how frequently he'd had this exact thought any time he had been around Lucy.

His train of thought was interrupted by Lucy who stood up, back facing him.

"Look, just take the mission with Lisanna this time... by the time you get back, I should feel up to going on a new mission." And with that, she paid for her untouched drink and strode away from her partner giving him a slight wave as she made her way through the front door of the guild hall.

Natsu just sat there for a moment. Lucy had been acting really strange lately. Well, stranger than usual.

Mira jolted him from his thoughts when, as if appearing from nowhere, she asked him if he had picked out a new job for he and Lucy.

"Yeah but she doesn't want to go. I actually picked it out for us and Lisanna to go on, but I guess it'll just be me and Lis this time." As Natsu said this, the small frown that had crept onto his normally cheerful countenance after talking to Lucy, had only cemented its hold. Mira saw this and smiled to herself. "Maybe she is a little jealous?" the white haired mage suggested. "What? Why would she be jealous? Did she want some of the fire chicken I was eating?" Mira just giggled to herself at his naivety. "You're strange, Mira." With that he jumped off his stool with a shake of his head and wandered off in search of Lisanna to inform her of the change in plans.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any of the amazing characters that you recognize in this story.**

Chapter 2

"Carla is the best." Happy sighed while floating blissfully alongside Natsu. "I can't believe she finally accepted my fish! Tomorrow I will give her a dozen fish so that she knows how happy I am." the little exceed exclaimed.

"Maybe you should just stick to one fish at a time, little buddy. It did take quite sometime for her to accept just one fish from you. Besides, where would you get 12 fish from? We are all out of them at the house." Natsu pointed out as they made their way down the cobble stone streets of Magnolia on their way home to pack for their mission.

"Oh! I would just go raid Lucy's freezer. She has a whole stock of fish hidden in there that she thinks I don't know about but she can't fool my nose!" proclaimed Happy, sticking his nose up in the air. Then looking down at Natsu he asked "Speaking of Lucy, is it just me or is she being more of a weirdo than usual?"

Natsu peered back at Happy thinking about the question he just proposed. It was true; Lucy had been acting peculiar lately. What with her lack of smiles, being strangely quiet (heck, she hadn't even yelled at him yesterday for almost hitting her during his brawl with Gray) and now she was turning down a perfectly good job. Itdefinitely was not just the cat's imagination.

"No, it's not just you. Somethin's up with her. It's like Lucy hasn't been Lucy since we took that last mission in Dardenfield..." Natsu walked on with with his hands behind his head, looking up at the night sky. It was funny, before Lucy, Natsu hadn't really paid much attention to the stars and their constellations. Now though, he would look overhead and try to pick out Lucy's friends from among the other clusters of bright shining orbs. _Huh._ Tonight he could make out Virgo looking down on them.

"Maybe she ate something bad, like a mushroom or some other kind of mutating fungus... Oh no! Lucy isn't gonna turn into a weird monster and eat us is she?!" Leave it to Happy to come to that conclusion.

Laughing, Natsu smiled to his little blue pal saying, "Nah, if anything she would probably just mope around and complain about how she will never get a boyfriend now that she is turning into a monster."

The two trekked on through the streets until the were underneath Lucy's window.

Never one to pass up an opportunity to sneak into the cozy apartment, Natsu had Happy lift him up to the windows ledge.

It was dark inside and when the dragon-slayer attempted to push open his personal entryway, he found that it wouldn't budge. _What the hell. Lucy never locks this window._ Peering into the darkness of her bedroom, he searched for any trace of his blonde partner. Nothing. Even her scent was stale, indicating that she had not been home since this morning. _Where is she?_

"Maybe she is visiting Levy at Fairy Hills." Happy suggested at Natsu's unspoken question.

"Yeah, maybe." Natsu took one last look at the empty room before jumping back down to the road. "Let's get home and pack. We can come by tomorrow morning to see Lucy before we head out."

"Aye, sir!"

* * *

Lucy had been wandering around Magnolia for hours with no particular destination. She left the guild hall earlier that day in order to distance herself from Natsu and the rest of her companions, thinking that if she did, she could also distance herself from her ever moredistressing thoughts.

So far, it wasn't working.

 _I can't go home yet. It would only be a matter of time before someone barges in._ Lucy paused in her walking, thinking about her teammates. All of them were strong. Not just in power but in personality, in will, and in loyalty. It was that loyalty that saved Lucy time and time again. It was also that loyalty that would end up getting them hurt one day, all because Lucy was lacking. _Heh_. _That is putting it mildly._ Lucy thought cynically to herself.

She looked down at her belt where her keys hung shimmering in the lamplight. _Absolutely useless._ That's what she was without her keys. Not for the first time had she thought about her glaring weakness in magical strength. As a mage using holder type magic, she had to always rely on someone else to fight her battles. She was not physically strong like Erza, nor did she possess the magical strength of Gray or Natsu. Even Wendy had her own power in which to face her foes head-on.

As a celestial mage, she could only channel her magic into her keys. Her spirits would draw from her strength to add it to their own. The stronger her wizards magic, the stronger the spirit became. She couldn't help but think about how many times she had run out of magic prematurely during a fight. Without her spirits, she was left to stand behind her friends while she looked on.

Frustration bubbled up within her as she recalled the mission in Dardenfield. _Rescued again, like some damn princess who can't take care of herself._ Her spirits weren't even been able to help her out this time as her keys had been easily taken from her. Not for the first time had she wished for a secondary magic like Requip, so that she at least had a means to store her keys and not risk the chance of them falling into someone else's hands.

Her frustration gave way to guilt as she thought more about her keys. Aquarius was currently not speaking to her for having her gate key so easily taken away by the enemy. Not that Lucy blamed her. It was her responsibility to protect the keys in her possession and she couldn't even do such a simple thing. _Maybe..._

Her thoughts were interrupted when her shoulder was jostled. So wrapped up in her thoughts, Lucy failed to notice that she had come to a complete stop right in front of a doorway with patrons attempting to get inside the establishment. Looking about for the first time in her musings, Lucy noticed that it had turned into night. She also noticed that she was in a slightly shadier part of town. Not anything extreme like the red light districts that could be found in bigger cities but certainly not the classiest of places. Turning to make her way back towards home, Lucy found herself face-to-face with the guilds resident pervert, Bickslow.

"Hey Cheerleader! What are you doing here? Isn't it past your bedtime?" This was followed by a repetition of "Cheerleader! Cheerleader!" by his babies who floated close behind.

"For the last time, I am not a cheerleader nor am I a cosplayer. Where the heck do you get that shit from?" she grumbled out, slight blush of embarrassment on her cheeks. "Also, I am not a child. I am perfectly capable of going wherever I want, whenever I want."

Bickslow just laughed, tongue lolling out of his mouth, per usual.

"Well, don't let me stop you, though, would you mind moving from in front of the door? Some of us would like to start having some fun. Unless, you want to join in that is." he said nodding his head at the door she had been playing guard in front of.

It took Lucy a moment to process what he said. Fun? What was that anyway? She had thought fun was hanging out with her team at the guildhall, going on missions, and all of the antics that came along with being best friends with the dragon-slayer. The thing was, none of that was fun nowadays. Nothing seemed to make her happy. Her thoughts constantly stayed wrapped up in not belonging anymore… or was it not belonging ever?

Bickslow moved past her and open the door to the bar and looking back at her said "you coming Cosplayer?"

* * *

The next morning saw an anxious Natsu busting through the guild's doors screaming "Lucy!" Everyone paused what they were doing to look at him.

"She's not here, flame brain." the ice mage stated as with as much enthusiasm as an iceberg. "Check her house. You know she has been spending more time there lately than here." _Which begs the question "why"_ he pondered briefly.

Disquieted Natsu ran a hand through his hair. "Already been there. She hasn't been home since yesterday morning."

Gray thought for a moment before replying with "Check with Mira. She always seems to know what's going on. Maybe she took a solo job."

"As Natsu made his way to speak with the barmaid, he was interrupted by the guildhall doors opening. Turning around quickly, he waited for the person to step through and into the hall, hopeful that it was Lucy. Disappointment set in as Bickslow strode forward.

Natsu was about to turn away and continue on his way to speak to the barmaid when a sudden scent caught his attention. _Lucy._ He tried to look past the seith mage, seeing if the celestial wizard was behind him but saw nothing except air. Quirking a hidden eyebrow at this behavior, Bickslow sidestepped the fire eater. He was almost to the bar when he felt a hand on his arm stop him. Looking down, he saw it was Natsu that had grabbed him.

Mira noticed this interaction. It was rare for anyone other than the Thunder Legion to talk to Bickslow, let alone manhandle him. Stepping closer to the pair she discreetly listened in, ready to intervene if needed.

"Why the hell do you smell like Lucy?" Natsu demanded not so quietly.

Mira balked at this, her thoughts flying a mile a minute.

Removing his arm from Natsu's grasp, Bickslow let a slow but big smile spread across his face. "Because, she was with me all night."

 **CRASH**

Multiple people throughout the hall dropped plates and mugs (and in the case of happy, a fish) at this declaration.

"Oh my." Mira gasped out.

"What do you mean she was with you all night? You two aren't really even friends. Why would she do that?" The confusion on Natsu's face was mirrored on the faces of others in the guildhall. A few, however, gave each other knowing looks.

"Sorry pal, but that is between me and her. With that Bickslow continued on his way to the bar with his babies chanting "Me and her. Me and her." behind him.

Right as Natsu started to ignite his fist to pound some answers out of the guy the guild doors opened once more, this time revealing Lisanna, all packed and ready for their journey.

As she stepped in, the takeover mage noticed the tense atmosphere around everyone. Natsu had been distracted from the seith mage just long enough for Gray to step up beside him and place a restraining hand on his shoulder.

"Seriously fire breath, you can't just go around punching your guild mates lights out for answers. Go head out on your mission. I will see what answers I can get out of him while you're gone. Plus, it looks like Lisanna is ready to get going anyway."

Looking beyond gray, he saw his childhood friend standing by the doors, peering at him with a worried expression. Seeing his attention now on her, the white-haired mage asked "Is everything alright?"

Glancing back towards Gray, who nodded at him, Natsu ground out a "Yes." and with a final look at the bar, made his way towards the door.

"Hey, Ice Princess! Keep an eye out for Lucy. I should be back in a week. We will talk when I get home." and with that Natsu tugged Lisanna out of the hall and towards the train station with Happy trailing behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any of the amazing characters that you recognize in this story.**

Chapter 3

Soft light filtered in through the slight parting of the curtains beside the bed. Being touched by the sun's warmth, Lucy struggled to stay asleep. Cracking one eye open slowly, she glared at the offending light that chased her out of dreamland. _Stupid sun._ Turning her back to the window, Lucy glanced at the clock on her bedside table. _11:43. Wow. I slept in pretty late. I guess I should get up, shouldn't I?_

Slowly sitting up on the bed, Lucy stretched her arms above her head and then winced as pain shot through her head. _Mavis save me, my head feels like it is going to split wide open. Ugh and I reek. Bathroom._

As Lucy made her way out of her bed, across the room and into the bathroom, stumbling slightly as she went. This had to be the hangover from Hell. _Shower or bath? Bath. I so do not feel like standing up right now._ Lucy perched on the edge of her tub waiting for the warm water to reach the appropriate height. Once that task was complete, and she had submerged herself into the steaming water, she let her thoughts drift to the previous night.

* * *

Following Natsu's departure, the guild remained deathly silent for all of two seconds before erupting back into life. There were shouts as well as murmurs about what had just taken place.

Walking over to the bar, Gray leaned against the wooden counter top, looking to all those around as if he didn't have a care in the world. This couldn't be any further from the truth. Gray was concerned for Lucy. She had come to be an important part of his team and if he were to be honest with himself, she was like a little sister to him, or at least the closest thing he would ever have to a sister. Never before had Gray entertained the idea of being close to anyone. Not since his teacher's sacrifice, followed on the heels of his parents' deaths. Then there was the ejection from Lyon's life, not that Gray had truly blamed him. He had felt responsible for what happened to Ur. He would never truly be able to get rid of that guilt.

The ice mage had never expected to find a place where he belonged, or a community of people that were so open and accepting, yet he had at Fairy Tail. Though some might still consider him on the cold side, everyone accepted him as he was, stripping habit and all. He had come a long way from the stubborn, seemingly unfeeling child he had been growing up and it was all thanks to his teammates, Natsu and Erza. They were always there for him, whether it be for a good old fashion brawl or a picking a mission that decided the fate of Fiore. They were there for him, that was just who they were; that is who they had always been. Happy was just, well, happy. He was a magical flying cat. Enough said. Then there was Lucy. Sweet, fiery, fiercely loyal Lucy who cared for others before caring for herself. She was the shining light of their team, nay, the guild. None of them would be the same without her in their lives.

Gray had come to truly appreciate her and her caring ways over the past few years. She had been there for him after his encounter with Lyon on Galuna Island. When they came back to Magnolia, she had pulled Gray aside and listened to him as he told her about his past, well, as much as he was willing to tell anyone. All she did was listen but that was all he had needed. She was so compassionate and forgiving all the time. Hell, no matter how much their team annoyed her or pissed her off by constantly breaking into her house and eating up her food, she was always quick to forgive. That was just how was she was and he loved her for it.

He also knew that because of her nature, sometimes people tended to take advantage of her kindness. This was something he would not stand for, and would do everything in his power to make sure it did not happen.

Mira had finally seemed to notice Gray at the bar and walked over to him. With a slightly dazed look on her face, she asked if there was anything that she could get for him.

"Yeah, could you get me the special? I'm starving. Dealing with Natsu at times can be really taxing." Gray requested, settling into the stool beside the guy who had, just moments earlier, caused all of the uproar.

"Sure thing." Mira said before slowly making her way to the kitchen, still glancing towards Bickslow as she went.

The ice mage waited until the eldest Strauss sibling disappeared from sight before making his move.

"So, are you gonna tell me what really happened between you and Lucy last night? You and I both know she isn't the kind of person to do what you are suggesting, so spill it."

Looking towards Gray, who was sitting beside him fully naked, Bickslow couldn't help but think, _And they think I am a pervert? At least I don't go about flashing my dick at everyone all the time._

"As I told Fire Crotch, that is between me and Cheerleader." He said as rounds of "Fire Crotch" were repeated by his babies. "Let's just keep it at this, we are a lot more alike then anyone would think."

"Dammit man, I'm not gonna sit here and let you speak that way about her. She is a good girl and can be too nice for her own good. I won't let you take advantage of that." Gray all but growled out. "I may not be as hot headed as Natsu but that doesn't mean I won't freeze your tongue to your ass or freeze off your d-" his tirade was interrupted by the demon barmaid setting his plate down in front of him.

Mira seemed to have composed herself sometime after stepping away from the bar. Her dazed look had been replaced by a look of elation; It looked as though she had been handed a basket of fluffy kittens.

"I hope you enjoy it!" Mira said. "Also, your clothes seem to have run away again."

Looking down, Gray notice his nakedness for the first time. "What the fuck?! Where are my clothes?" he said before dashing off in search of the missing articles of fabric.

Mira turned away from the frantic Gray, her attention becoming fixated onto the only one left at the bar. "Now Bickslow," She started sweetly, "I'm going to need you to tell me everything that happened between you and Lucy last night."

"No way." was his reply.

"If you don't tell me, I will be forced to let slip the contents of a little conversation that I overheard. You wouldn't want that, now would you?" Mira's smile seemed to take on a slightly sinister look to it as she made her unveiled threat.

 _What in Hell is she talking about?_ "What conversation?" he replied. As he said this, Gray sat back down beside him, fully clothed and began eating his slightly cold food.

"You know, the one that you had with Laxus last summer regarding your t-" this time it was Mirajane who was cut off as Bickslow slammed his hands down on the counter top with a frantic look.

"How do you know about that?!" the seith mage exclaimed, blushing furiously. This outburst caused those around them to look over at the pair briefly before looking away. All except Gray that is.

"Oh, I have my ways." was all she said while looking at him expectantly.

Bickslow took a gulp of the drink she had set down in front of him. Was she bluffing? Would she really tell everyone... that? _Mavis, how humiliating._ He wasn't about to take any chances.

"Fine," he mumbled, "I'll tell you. Just NEVER mention that conversation to anyone."

Mira beamed and exclaimed, "Deal!"

"Well here is what happened..."

* * *

Lucy stared on as Bickslow walked into the bar. She stood there contemplating what to do. It was getting late. She knew she should start heading home to get some sleep but the possibility of her home being invaded by her teammates was an unpleasant thought. She just couldn't face them right now. On the other hand, she could just go into this bar and have some drinks with her perverted but seemingly harmless guild mate, who more than likely would leave her alone to go chase some other skirt.

Before she could think much more about it, Lucy found herself seated at the bar beside the tall seith mage.

"So, fun it is!" Bickslow stated at the appearance of Lucy.

With a slightly rebellious look on her face, the celestial mage replied "Aye, Sir." before slamming back Bickslow's freshly poured shot.

Throughout the course of the evening, Lucy found herself relaxing for the first time in weeks. Her negative thoughts seemed to disappear with each drink she consumed.

Lucy thought to herself, _Is this all it takes? Just some shots with an almost stranger?_ Deep down, Lucy knew this was not going to make everything better. This wasn't going to change anything but at least she could forget her problems for now. She could not fix being a failure but she could at least numb herself to the pain for a while.

 _No thinking._ Slamming back another shot, Lucy wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and proceeded to look over at her companion. He hadn't said much to her but had been keep up with her shot for shot.

Noticing her not so subtle stare, Bickslow turned towards Lucy asking, "What, see something you like?" followed with a leering grin.

Huffing, the busty blonde replied with "No, I was just thinking that this is the first that we had ever so much as sat together. I don't really know anything about you."

Bickslow stared at her for a moment, babies floating silently behind him. "Well, not many people do, besides my team that is."

"Why is that?" she asked.

"You mean besides people thinking I'm a huge pervert?" he asked, tongue wagging while shouts of "Pervert, Bickslow is a pervert." filled the air.

Lucy just stared at him, face serious but with eyes slightly unfocused.

He sighed. He was uncomfortable. He didn't do serious feelings. They were too much for him to handle. Having fun and getting shitfaced, that's what he did. That's how he coped with things. He could see though that this line of questioning was not going to get dropped that easily though. "It is probably because of my magic."

"Your magic? Why is that?" She asked studying him as closely as she could while trying to stay stable in her seat.

"Well, people tend to be freaked out because I collect souls. They just can't seem to grasp the idea that I am helping them. Everyone just thinks that I entrap them to do my bidding. But that isn't it at all! I love my babies."

As he said all of this Lucy couldn't help but look at the little totems behind him. Indeed, they didn't seem to be entrapped because they seemed to have their own personalities.

"So, you collect souls kind of like I collect spirits, right?" She asked, shifting her attention back to the mage before slamming back another shot. _How many was that? Eh, whatever._

"Yeah, in a sense. I mean, technically, but you use holder magic while I use caster magic." Bickslow replied before throwing back his own shot.

Lucy seemed to get lost in thought for a moment before turning away from him and back to the bar. "Yeah, holder magic. Practically useless." he heard her say under her breath.

"Why do you say that?"

She obviously hadn't meant for him to hear what she had said, for she turned back to him in surprise so quickly that she fell off of her stool and into him.

Righting herself, she stammered out "Sorry." before turning back to the bar blushingfrom booze and embarrassment.

Bickslow watched her from the slits in his visors as she continued to stare down at the next shot in her hands. _Mavis, this night is weird._

The bartender came past them, letting the two know that it was last call. Bickslow,feeling a bit drained from the topic they had just been discussing, ordered 4 bottles of sake. Two for him and two for the cheerleader.

While this was going on, Lucy was sinking into herself again. The alcohol had helped most of the night to keep her mind off of her issues. The longer she sat thinking to herself though, the louder her thoughts were getting. _Useless. Alone. Not worthy._ Round and round they went until an earthenware bottle was set down in front of her.

"Drink up, Cheerleader. "

And she did.

* * *

Lucy was surprised she had made it home last night. After going over the events of the evening in her head she was surprised at how much she had drank. Hell, she might have even been able to give Cana a run for her money last night, though she was thankful it had been the seith mage who had found her and not her curvy brunette friend. He at least left her alone. Cana would have been way too nosy about what was going on with Lucy.

Draining the tub, Lucy stepped out wrapped in her towel. Now that her head was a little clearer, her thoughts soon left the night before and began to wander once again to the incident from two weeks ago. Last night had been a needed distraction but that was all it was. Her problems were still there. She was still there.

Biting her lip, Lucy tried to hold back her tears. She needed to get ready. She needed to go to the guild hall before someone came here looking for her. She needed... she needed...

She didn't know what she needed. It felt as though everything was out of her reach. Tears of frustration finally spilled from her eyes. Why couldn't she be stronger. _Dammit all. Why am I so fucking useless all the time._ she thought as she slid to the tiled floor of her bathroom.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews :) I am glad that you are enjoying the story so far! I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint. We still have a ways to go. Also, I am sorry for any errors made in this chapter. I rewrote this chapter a few times...


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any of the amazing characters that you recognize in this story.**

Chapter 4

It had been a whole day since anyone had seen Lucy.

After the events of yesterday, Gray and Mira were becoming concerned by the blonde's absence . Normally, they wouldn't worry too much if she didn't show up for a day or two because it usually meant she was off on a job or that she was being dragged into something by one of her many friends. Seeing as how Natsu was off on his mission with Lisanna while the rest of her friends were currently in the guild hall, as well as knowing how Lucy had been behaving the past few weeks, they felt as though someone should go check up on her.

After discussing it, the two decided that Mira was the best choice. Even though the white haired mage was not on Lucy's team , she was a woman, and therefore, more likely to get the other female to open up to her about whatever it was that had the blonde not being herself.

As Mirajane walked the cobblestone streets leading to Lucy's apartment, she thought back to the events that she had heard yesterday from Bickslow.

She had been shocked, to say the least, at what he had told her. What was going through Lucy's head when she had first found out that Lucy and Bickslow had been together the previous night, she was sure she was going to soon see little Bickslows and Lucys running around; That didn't seem to be the case.

She shook the thoughts from her head as she climbed the steps to Lucy's apartment. Knocking twice, she waited for the other woman to answer the door. Nothing.

"Well, that's strange." she said to herself. "Lucy? Are you in there?" Again, nothing."

Mira tried knocking again but with the same result.

Growing more concerned, Mira took out a chain from the pocket of her dress. At the end of the chain there was a key with ' _Lucy'_ inscribed on it. Mira had spare keys for every member of the guild, just in case there was an emergency.

Opening the door to Lucy's apartment, Mira wasn't sure what to expect. She thought that maybe Lucy had just wanted to go away and therefore had not answered the door; She certainly hadn't thought she would find herself in an empty apartment. Looking around, she slowly made her way into the living area. No Lucy. Poking her head into the kitchen area, she was met with no one once again.

"Where is she? Did she step out?" Right as she said this, there was a tap on the window. Looking over, she was shocked to see a floating Bickslow perched on top of his totems. Shaking the shock away, Mira ran over to open the window.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she stepped back to allow the tall man to crawl inside.

"I was just coming to drop off something cosplayer left at the bar the other night. I went back to the bar last night and the bartender gave me this." Looking down, Mira saw Lucy's purse.

"Oh! Lucy would have been so upset if she had lost that! Thank you, Bickslow." the white haired woman said while smiling up at him.

"Yeah well, where is cosplayer anyway?" he asked, looking around.

"I don't know. I came here to talk to her but it seems like she isn't here. No one has seen her since the other day."

Bickslow could tell that she was worried about her friend. Hell, even he could admit that the busty babe hadn't seemed herself the other night. In fact, she had reminded him a bit of himself from years ago, before he had met Laxus, before Fairy Tail, back when...

A chill ran up his spine at his line of thought. No, Lucy wasn't as bad off as he had been. She was the shining star of the guild; she was just a little down was all. She would perk up soon enough... he hoped.

"I'm sure she is fine. Maybe she is out looking for this." he said waving the purse around.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Mira replied.

"I'm just gonna leave her purse on her desk and leave, but first, I gotta take a piss."

Mira scrunched up her nose at this proclamation and pointed him towards the bathroom door.

Nodding his head in thanks, the tall man made his way towards the closed door. He made to push it open but could only open it about half of a foot before the progression of the door was stopped. Squeezing his head through the opening, he looked down to see what was blocking the door.

 _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck._

He had found Lucy.

* * *

"Dammit."

"Everything alright Natsu?" Lisanna asked, looking at her pink haired friend.

Shaking his foot free of the animal excrement he had just stepped in, he answered, "Yeah, just thinking."

Happy, who was sitting atop of Lisanna's head, looked horrified. "Natsu, are you sick?" Lisanna laughed at this. "What are you thinking about so hard that has you so distracted? You have been pretty quiet ever since we left Magnolia."

"Lucy" was all he said.

"What about Lucy?" the white haired mage replied. She tired to keep the disappointment out of her voice. Things had been different since her return from Edolas. She should have known that things wouldn't be as they were before she had been removed from Earthland but she had truly thought that her and Natsu's relationship wouldn't be one of them.

When she had laid eyes on him that first time in Edolas after not seeing him, the Earthland him, for two years, she was overcome with emotion. She had thought for a brief moment that he was there to bring her back. She had seen the recognition in his eyes and she could not help the tears of happiness that started to form. Then she had seen the blonde beside him. After spending two year in Edolas, Lisanna knew that things wouldn't be how she had left them in Earthland. In Edolas, Natsu and Lucy were best friends, more in fact, if the looks between the two of them were anything to go by. She had been fine with it all this time because Edolas Natsu was not her Natsu. It wasn't until the moment she had seen Earthland Lucy that she felt a small part of her heart break.

She could tell Natsu and Lucy were close. They seemed to work so well together that you would think they had been doing it their whole lives. It was the fact that this closeness had happened within the two years that Lisanna had been gone that ate at her. Was she that easily replaced by the people who were supposed to love her back home? Had her disappearance meant nothing to Natsu?

As she looked at him more closely, she saw not only recognition but also his emotions at finding her alive. No, he had cared about her and had missed her.

When she had arrived back in Earthland, she was heartily welcomed back. Lisanna felt all of the love and happiness that her reemergence had brought her family and the guild. They had partied for days on end; Natsu was by her side the entire time, as if she had never left. After a few days, things had calmed down and the guild members started settling into their normal routines. It was at this time that the animal takeover mage began to notice the changes.

Natsu would turn to Lucy with questions about things he didn't understand or he would ask the celestial wizard to go on missions. Also, on the few occasions that Lisanna would stop by his cottage to see him, she would find the place empty, almost unlived in. When she asked her sister about it after the 4th time this happened, she was informed that Natsu tended to spend most of his free time at Lucy's apartment.

It was hard to cope with. Natsu had been her best friend growing up. They had even childishly promised to get married one day, not that Natsu would have understood it at the time. And while it may have been childhood fancy at one point, for Lisanna, it was not so slowly becoming a reality she wanted to see come true.

Lisanna was in love with Natsu and he was oblivious to it. Not that she expected for him to notice. He had always been a bit slow when it came to the emotions of other people, unless it was the fiery passion of a fight that is; that emotion he knew all too well. No, her being in love with the dragon slayer would mean that she would have to have patience. So patience she had been. But now...

She hadn't expected the slight pangs of sadness or the feeling of disappointment or jealousy that came with his mention of Lucy.

"I'm just worried about her. She never passes up the chance to make some easy money. Hell, I chose this mission because it didn't have any fighting in it. It's just weird." Natsu said.

 _Natsu picked this mission out for Lucy? I didn't know that..._

"Really Natsu, you have been worrying about that this entire time?" Lisanna tried to smile at him while saying this but it didn't quite reach her eyes, not that he noticed.

"Well, yeah. I mean, she has been really strange for a while now, you know, more so than just being Lucy strange, but to not come on a mission... something isn't right. I can just feel it."

The white haired girl felt another pang shoot through her chest as she listened to Natsu worrying about Lucy. Maybe she could get his mind off of the blonde girl, then she would stop feeling this way. If she could just get him to focus on something else, they would be able to get on with their mission and spend some time together.

"I am sure that she is fine. Maybe she just wanted some alone time. Women are like that every once in a while."

"Yeah, maybe... but I just don't know." Natsu replied back with a sigh.

Seeing that he wasn't letting it go, the takeover mage decided to try a different tactic. "Hey, do you remember that time we tried to prank Laxus but ended up getting master instead. He was so mad that we ended up running away and living in the woods for a whole week because we were so scared he was going to kick us out of the guild?" Lisanna was sure this would work in getting his mind off of Lucy. Natsu loved talking about their adventures from when they were kids.

"Hahaha! Natsu might have been scared then but it was nothing compared to the last time he snuck into Lucy's apartment, only for her to be in the middle of changing clothes. She was so mad because he saw her naked, she threw a dresser at him. Who knew she was so strong!" Happy cackled at the end of this, tears streaming down his furry face.

Lisanna was shocked. _Natsu has seen Lucy naked?_

"Hey! I wasn't scared of her!" he replied with a slight blush.

"Oh yeah?" the blue exceed inquired. "Then why did you run away from her apartment as fast as you could?"

Natsu looked away at this, his blush increasing. "No reason..."

"You liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike her." Happy teased, flying ahead with the fire eater chasing after him.

While Lisanna had meant to distract Natsu from further thinking about the celestial wizard, her plan had backfired. What should have been a conversation to reconnect her and Natsu just turned back into a conversation about the other woman. There was that pang again.

It wasn't that she didn't like Lucy, in fact, the blonde had been nothing but nice to her since her return to Earthland. It was just that Lisanna wanted to be the most important person to Natsu. She felt guilty for having these thoughts but she just couldn't help how she felt.

She loved Natsu and she wanted him to feel the same way about her. While she had been patient for some time now, maybe it was time to act on her feelings. Maybe, just maybe, she could tell him her feelings on this mission. _Alright, I'll do it. Mavis, help me. I will tell him how I feel before I let the chance slip away._

With that thought in mind, Lisanna ran to catch up to her two companions.

* * *

Lucy awoke to a pounding headache and a very dry mouth. _What the hell?_ Groaning aloud, Lucy went to sit up only to be pushed back down by a large cool hand. _That is so not Natsu's hand,_ she thought to herself. Her eyes flew open, only for her to slam them shut again due to the light that hit them. Opening her eyes more slowly this time, Lucy looked into the face of the person who the hand belonged to.

"What are you doing here? What's going on? Why do I feel like shit?" Lucy mumbled out.

"Well, I came here because you left your purse at the bar the other night. I was just dropping it off. As for what's going on... I think you are more likely to have that answer." His tone got serious as he said that last part.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is," he began sounding annoyed, "that when I went to take a piss, I happened to find you passed out on the bathroom floor. It seems like you have been there for the better part of a day. Fully naked I might add." There was no leering look or perverted way of speech to his voice. Bickslow seemed genuinely concerned.

 _What was I doi..._ she started thinking, only to remember exactly what had happened.

"Oh." was all she replied with.

Bickslow sat down on the edge of her bed and stared at her hard. "Oh? Is that all you have to say? You scared the shit out of Mira. She went to fetch Wendy to see to you."

Lucy was about to reply to his comment when she noticed for the first time that he was not wearing his helmet.

"Hey, I can see your face."

"Wow, you are a smart one, cosplayer." he said, chuckling to himself.

"Why are you not wearing your helmet?" she asked looking at him closely.

He looked uncomfortable at this. "Well, when I found you... well..." where did he even begin. She would probably freak out like other people had.

"Well?"

Sighing he said, "So, you know how I told you I collect wandering souls? Well, that isn't all my magic can do. I am able to see the souls of living people as well. That is the basis for my Figure Eyes. I can see the soul and manipulate it."

Lucy stared at him in confusion, not knowing what this had to do with him not wearing his helmet.

Seeing her look, he continued. "Well, each soul has a color, an aura, if you want to call it that. Everyone has their own specific color or range of colors. It is a bit complicated but I can usually tell a person's character by their soul's color. When I found you... you... you didn't really have a color."

She stared at him blankly. _I didn't have a color? I thought he said every soul has a color._

"Look, I have only seen this happen a few times before." he started. _How much do I say?_ He carefully went on saying, "Those times were when the person was on their way to becoming a lost soul."

The celestial mage was shocked. A lost soul? "How can a living person become a lost soul? That doesn't seem possible!"

Bickslow stared Lucy in the eyes for a few minutes before looking down his hands which were resting in his lap. "It is though. When I found you, I had to tether your soul back to your body. What is going on inside of you that your very soul has shattered?" He looked back up at the women at this.

"My soul has... my soul?" She looked so scared and sad. Just as he was about to continue, the apartment door opened to reveal a breathless Wendy and an anxious Mirajane.

"Lucy! Oh, thank Mavis you are awake! I was so worried."

Bickslow watched as the aforementioned woman gave the two recently arrived ladies a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. Maybe he shouldn't have told her. Maybe he should have waited. Dammit, he didn't know how to deal with serious shit like this.

"I am fine. Probably just exhaustion. I am sorry to worry everyone." She said this so easily that the other two women seemed to buy it, but Bickslow knew better. Lucy was falling apart and no one seemed to know.

"Are you sure? I would feel better if you let me check you over, just in case." Wendy said, looking at the blonde pleadingly.

Lucy acquiesced to this.

As Wendy checked her over, Lucy began contemplating what the tall blue haired man had told her. Was she really in that bad of shape? What would have happened to her if he had not found her? Would she have become a spirit? A darker thought popped into her head; would she really have minded? If she was a spirit, she would no longer be a burden to anyone. She wouldn't constantly put her friends in danger. They would be fine-

Her thoughts were interrupted by Wendy pronouncing that she seemed to be fine other than being dehydrated and that she needed to eat. The thought of food was off putting to Lucy at the moment but she nodded her head in acknowledgement.

Before leaving, Mira made sure that Lucy was set up with all the food and water that she could possibly need and made her agree to contact Mira or Gray if she began to not feel well again.

To the surprise of the two visiting women, Bickslow had remained behind with Lucy. Their conversation was not done.

"You need help." He stated simply, as he lifted his helmet off of the bedside table and put it back on his head. "You can't keep letting whatever is festering inside you continue. It won't be pretty if you do. Not for anyone."

"What do you mean? What would happen?"

"If your soul breaks completely, no amount of magic will bring you back. in essence, you will become nothing."

"Honestly, that doesn't sound too bad." She said quietly to herself. For the first time in what felt like ages, she had a small but true smile on her face.

* * *

 **Just wanted to say a quick thank you to the people who have reviewed so far!**

 **KirstyKakes, Lily, dogsrcool5, Dark Shining Light, Nanami B, mamimartini, and panicatthediscofreak7. Your encouragement means everything :)**


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